Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Funny how life can change in just a moment. A moment, composed of elements of time, is seemingly an oxymoron in itself – for time is eternal; a moment, fleeting.
In a moment, life can be birthed, or handed over to Death. In a moment, love wins, or love fails. In a moment, core memories are made, or they are consciously locked away in the deepest abyss of the heart. In a moment, the heart gives value to something, or someone; or it revokes that privileged position. In a moment, two people can cross over invisible boundaries to become lovers, or they become strangers again.
In a moment, one might be allowed a peek into the soul of another, or vulnerability might be instantly masked. In a moment, first impressions are made; initial character judgements can be broken. In a moment, hope can rise, or it turns into despair. In a moment, beauty emerges from hidden places. In a moment, epiphanies hit; inspirations come and go; paradigms shift.
Moments hit us when we least expect it to. All of a sudden, you realise that that someone is such a beautiful person. That he’s not all you think he was. Or that there’s more than meets the eye. It can be cruel; unforgiving in the way it hits you without a warning. It catches us unaware, unprepared, unready for what’s to come.
But we cope, we adapt. That relationship you finally figured you had to let go; that unrequited love; that hope that didn’t materialise; that job you didn’t get – we find ways to make ourselves feel better, to pretend that everything’s okay. We are masters of illusion, skillful in distracting others from the anxiety and uncertainty that we feel about life, but what we’re really doing is only deluding ourselves of the realities in front of us. We attempt to create our own reality – that we didn’t really want that job anyway, or that she wasn’t worthy of your love. We occupy ourselves with a relentless pursuit of shallow happiness, hoping that if you somehow fool yourself into feeling happy, the emptiness in your soul will disappear.
It isn’t all negative. Moments can be beautiful. Realising that you’ve fallen in love, or understanding that life has so much more to offer; being captivated by the beauty that surrounds; the realisation that you’ll be okay – and we fumble our way into dealing with emotions we never thought or forgot we were capable of.
Moments are beautiful, regardless of how they make us feel. Like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, it is a subtle process that teaches us to appreciate, to love, to live in the moment, to step boldly into the future, to know that you’re stronger than what you make yourself out to be. Moments are powerful – they craft your person. We wear them like an invisible lens – through it we make sense of our values, the people around us, things that happen to us and around us. Taking them off is a difficult and conscious process, for it requires a deep and painful acknowledgement of our own brokenness.
Sometimes, I wonder, what life would be like without moments. What would happen if we viewed things just as they are. Maybe, it is an invitation to embrace these moments; uninhibited. To not struggle with the future, but to appreciate the here and now.
Moments. They are fleeting, yet eternal because of how strongly it moulds us.