I've so much feelings that I want to share with you all.
But writing my thoughts here would be too cruel to those involved. I'm someone who needs a lot of reason to justify any decision I make. Sometimes I make wrong choices and end up suffering down the road. Like now. Some mistakes cannot be undone, so I cannot afford to make reckless steps. What makes everything so much difficult to decipher is that what I want does not tally with reality. Everything is just hovering midway in the air. Nothing is obvious enough.
I really wish the answer would be more definite.