Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Worthwhile to God.

God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created the;
male and female he created them.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Pushing Up Daises Soon Enough.

Site visits.
Lab reports.
Merit activities.

"I'm busy with my 'blablabla'. Can you do 'this and that' for me?"
Amboi. Ingat kau sorang je ke yang sibuk?
Everyone is busy here woman.
I send you to the Promised Land baru tau.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Man's head.

Source: Twitter. Tweeted by @Yshudaitelya 

PS: But not all men are like that. Some.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Being obscure.

I've been thinking back about the things that have happened for the past 2 years.

I used to be really personal and open on my blog. But I realise that I have not been completely honest about my relationships here. I don't know. Perhaps because I know the consequences. Because I know my relatives and friends are monitoring this blog. I don't really care about what you strangers think about the choices I've made, but I do feel affected when people I know disagree with my choice of route. I think I have some sort of responsibility to hold here. That's why most of the time when I want to share a bit of my feelings on my blog, I'd try as much as I can to say it cryptically. Might as well don't say anything at all. But to me, it's an avenue for me to release my pent up feelings. I don't like burdening my friends with my issues, so usually I'd hesitate before sharing. There's really very limited people in my life who really knows much about what is happening. I think even this group of people don't know the full story because I only share bits and parts to each person. They'd have to join up together to piece the full story haha but they are from different clique, so I guess it won't happen.

Perhaps I'd share about it if the relationship ever has a definite end one day. 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

UMP - University of Malaysia, Pahang.

UPU result was finally out and all of the Matriculation's, ASASI's and Diploma's leavers were squirming in their seat, feeling nervous to know their destined result. I could not even sleep the day before the result was out. Not to mention, I had to take medicine as runny nose started to kick in. It doubled up my nausea. 

So, I was working when the results were out. Phone kept on vibrating, getting non-stop text messages. I couldn't check UPU because my data connection decided to a bitch that day. Boyfie suggested me to check via text message. I used my mom's phone, typed all the information and clicked send. Waited for 15 minutes, no reply. Then, my boss suruh pulak handle machine besar gedabak tu. Gave phone to mom. Every time I looked back, my mom kept on checking her phone to see if there's any reply.

And gosh, after almost 2 hours, finally a reply. 

Mom : Shikaaaaaaaaaaa! *Sad plus shocked face*
Me    : *Turned back while handling the machine like a boss haha* Shika dapat apa mami...
Mom : Perlis, kos kejuruteraan perisian.... (It was my last choice I think)
Me    : *Trying to be calm*
Mom : *Ran to me and hugged me* Congrats sayang.
Me    : Apa congrats, Shika tidak mau kos komputer, dah la PERLIS :(
Mom : *Showed her phone*

  ' Tahniah. Universiti Malaysia Pahang, Ijazah Sarjana Muda Kejuruteraan Kimia '

(Well actually they sent me the course code, I had to search the code to double confirm the course cos I applied two courses there.)

I screamed, she screamed. The other workers were looking at us haha. I hugged her, nak nangis wei. 

Me    : Mami ni, nasib baik Shika tak sakit jantung.

I got the course I wanted.
I was thrilled to have received the offer. 
It could not get any better than this. 

So now, I'm currently in UMP, in my very cosy room, writing this post. 

Geez. More years away from family.
More walks to my faculty. 
More years of being annoyed by university mates. 
More.. torment.

I will post about UMP soon since there's so little details that can be found in the internet. Like no one blogs about UMP. Okay, obviously there are some people who wrote about UMP, but there's nothing about the systems, etc. 

No promises though. I've been extremely busy since the first day I registered. 
Lazy? Yes, I am a lazy blogger. 


Saturday, October 10, 2015


I've so much feelings that I want to share with you all.

But writing my thoughts here would be too cruel to those involved. I'm someone who needs a lot of reason to justify any decision I make. Sometimes I make wrong choices and end up suffering down the road. Like now. Some mistakes cannot be undone, so I cannot afford to make reckless steps. What makes everything so much difficult to decipher is that what I want does not tally with reality. Everything is just hovering midway in the air. Nothing is obvious enough.

I really wish the answer would be more definite.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Such a fibber.

When someone's not worth your time, you leave. After some time, that person comes out of nowhere and talks to you. It's a normal conversation at first.

'How are you?'
'How's everyone at home?'
'Everyone misses you here.'

As the conversation becomes more intense, that person starts to get emotional. Bringing up the past.

'I am sorry. Really sorry.'
'I miss you.'
'I need you back.'
'I'll wait for you.'

And all those words you don't want to hear start to flow out.

Ludicrous, isn't it? Just because I appear to believe your bullshit, doesn't mean I'm as stupid as you think I am. I'm just laughing inside and waiting to see what else you come up with. Look, there's nothing you could say that's going to change my mind. I'm really glad that we're not together anymore. I did my part but you broke my heart. So, I won't make the same mistakes again now.

Ps: Found out that my ex is still an asshole. A day after I rejected him (again), he had a new girlfriend already. Please give this guy a big round of applause.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

The Rack Trap - Saw III

Horror Fanatic Challenge #22 - Best Death Scene

This poor guy is trapped in a particularly nasty torture device that slowly twists his limbs until he dies. The worst part is that he has to rely on Jeff for help. And as we have seen, Jeff ain’t exactly on the ball. It ends badly.

'Jeff, accompanied by Judge Halden, stumbled upon this trap after saving the judge from the Pig Vat. Timothy Young, the victim of this trap, turned out to be the man responsible for the car accident that resulted in the death of Jeff's son. The victim was strapped to a device resembling a crucifix, his head held in place by a rotating lock, while his arms and legs were held in place by spikes through his hands and feet. Each section began rotating around 180 degrees, one by one, taking his arms, legs, and head along with it and breaking his bones.
Jigsaw stated on Tim's tape that this trap was a particular favourite of his, referring to it as "The Rack." The only way for Jeff to free Tim was to obtain a key that was attached to the trigger of a shotgun, if the key was taken, the shotgun would have gone off and shot Jeff in the arm. As with the other tests, the key was also needed to leave the room and continue through to the next room. The shotgun and key were kept suspended in a glass box that Judge Halden attempted to break without success. Tim's arms and legs were rotated one by one, shattering and exposing his bones, as the judge stood by and helplessly watched. Jeff managed to untie the key from the shotgun, holding onto the cord long enough to move his own body out of the line of fire, but as he let go, the cord set off the gun, instead shooting the judge in the head and killing him. Jeff rushed over to Tim just as his head began to rotate, however, he failed to locate the key-hole in time, and Tim's neck was fatally broken. The gears slowed down and halted after Tim's head twisted around 180 degrees.' - Wikia.

So, was the Rack Trap winnable? Obviously. The Rack Trap was created by Jigsaw to test Jeff's forgiveness of Timothy Young for the murder of his son. In order to save Timothy, Jeff has to take a bullet for him.The question you have to ask yourself is this: How could Jeff be expected to take a shot for Timothy and save him at the same time?  The shot was powerful enough to kill obviously, so what's the point of a test that would have resulted in the deaths of both Timothy and Jeff, if played according to Jigsaw's instruction? 

You see, there's always a way to win Jigsaw's games (only Jigsaw, not his apprentices' games) without killing anyone. " 'Cherish your life' is the motto this whole organization is built on. " - Jigsaw. Life requires that we make wise decisions, to ensure that our lives are happier and that we can have peace of mind. That's the message behind the motto. If Jeff forgives Timothy when the game starts and then takes a bullet for him, then it shows that Jeff's stupid mood is still on. Jigsaw was expecting Jeff to untie the key and avoid the shot, in which case, there wouldn't be any sacrifice needed at all. Now, that's the way to win a game.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Saw Franchise

Horror Fanatic Challenge #21 - Best Horror Franchise

Since the surprise hit "Saw" in 2004, there's been a sequel each year. I'm a huge fan of horror movies, and I absolutely love the "Saw" Franchise. Each sequel was a worthy addition to the original story. Part II and VI were the best sequels. 

Saw I

"Saw" is one of the better horror films in recent memory. I suppose it's more of a thriller than horror, although it still is gory and serves well on a horrific level. It's sort of a cross between "Se7en" and "The Silence of the Lambs" I'd say, and the film is pretty damn good. 

"Saw" opens with two men who wake up in a dilapidated public restroom with no memory of how or why they are where they are. Chained to the floor, they are both utterly confused and terrified. Together, they begin to piece together the memory of what happened to them as the serial killer, nicknamed Jigsaw threatens them and plays numerous mind games that lead up to their demise. Meanwhile, detectives and officials are on the trail of the brutal serial murderer, trying to save the men the entire time.

This is definitely a smart thriller/horror and it will have you on the edge of your seat from the very beginning to the bloody, limb-severing conclusion. The scenes that are meant to be frightening don't require things that jump out at you every two seconds, or cheesy orchestral flailing. The situation is what frightens you, not the presentation. The entire movie has a dark, damp setting, and is overloaded with intense scenes and lots of gore, that are sure to please any horror fan. On top of that, the cleverly-woven story is unique. James Wan does an excellent job, especially considering this to be his first feature film.

Saw II

Just like in the first movie, this movie has an amazing twist. The twist in this movie is kind of harder to realize. In the second movie you find out that the event the tested subject (the one playing the game) is seeing is a prerecorded tape. He thinks it is currently happening, thus making him make the wrong decision. If he was to play along and not do anything, everything would turn out fine. In the end we find him trapped in the same cell Saw 1 took place in, tied to a chain, what a great ending. I loved the ending in Saw 1, and loved the ending in Saw 2 even more. The ending is what makes these movies! The twist at the end is the main reason I love the movie so much. Great acting, great story, amazing twist.

Sunday, August 2, 2015


I'm so tired of everything, like I don't have the strength to even have faith in anything anymore.

Jason Vorhees - Friday the 13th

Horror Fanatic Challenge #20 - Favourite Horror Movie Character

Gosh, this is hard. I have loads of favourite character! After much deep thought, I finally decided to choose Jason Voorhees from the Friday the 13th series as my number one favourite horror movie character. He is one of the most enduring horror movie monsters ever.

A six and a half foot tall mountain man running around in the woods wearing a hockey mask and carrying a machete pretty much demands to be taken seriously, and Jason Voorhees is certainly no exception to this ancient rule. He's also got all of the necessary aspects of "badass attitude" down to a science - this gigantic monster of an emotionless automaton doesn't talk, he doesn't crack a bunch of lame-ass jokes, and he's hideously ugly underneath his mask.  Hell, he doesn't even have a good reason for killing people.  It's not like he suffers from some kind of crazy misplaced rage or has a wicked chip on his shoulder about anything in particular. He's just an unfeeling, merciless, pointy death machine who breaks partying teenagers in half just because he's really got nothing else going on in his life. And hey, he's not even that die-hard of a fan – in the second movie he doesn't even don the mask, rather preferring to wear a burlap sack over his head instead. Jason Voorhees was rocking that look back in the 80s.  He's that much of a trendsetter.

Also in true badass fashion, Jason doesn't run for shit.  This is partly because real slashers can't run fast, but also because he's usually pretty confident that you're going to die painfully whether you flee or not, and doesn't really feel like working up a sweat trying to kill your dumb ass.  It's a given - it doesn't matter how fast you run, Jason Voorhees is going to kill and leave your mutilated corpse out in the woods to rot. Also, he never seems to mind that he's pretty much constantly being rained on, and in case you didn't know this already, standing outside in the freezing cold rain acting like it doesn't bother you is one of the primary tenets of badass attitude.

I also find it interesting that he's a master of stealth and espionage.  You wouldn't think he'd be so good at hiding and sneaking up on people, seeing as how he's a two hundred and fifty pound undead axe-murderer with a raging blood-vendetta against anything and anyone who isn't currently dead, but apparently that's just how Jason Voorhees rolls.

You can't kill this bastard either.  He's been shot, blown up, drowned, burned, electrocuted, and beaten down with everything from axes to hammers, but he just keeps on decapitating co-eds with a machete.  Even when you drown him or stab him in the brain with a nail gun, he just pops right back up again like nothing's wrong.

Jason has succeeded in becoming one of the most iconic movie slashers in film history. According to the official Friday the 13th website, he's racked up 146 kills during his blood-splattered film career (not including the new movie). That's a hell of a lot wei. There are many other reasons but I'm too lazy to continue already. Teehee~

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Wrong Turn 2003

Horror Fanatic Challenge #19 - Best Use of Gore

Just when you think the days of cannibal families living in the outback preying on unsuspecting teens, were long over then this comes along which in my opinion is a decent throwback to the days of (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes and Cannibal Holocaust) and more but those were the gems from that era. Okay "Wrong Turn" isn't perfect and not quite up there with the best, but it's still a decent cannibal slasher flick.

Okay the plot is as old as time, but that's what's fun about it, and it's interesting to see what this type of movie would look like if there's a decent budget and well it does certainly pay off, as the cannibal family are armed with bows and arrows and even guns, which does add tension and makes it more nerve racking. This movie does have genuinely terrifying moments, I mean the deformed mutants are actually very creepy and run fast. The scene where the friends stumble across the graveyard of cars is well shot and does make me feel that it will be almost impossible for any of them to survive. 

There are some very few minor bad points that does stop this from being a true classic, like there are some tense scenes but they do become very predictable, like I knew who was gonna die and in what order and the dialogue is a bit stilted and can become very dull, and the stupidity of these characters at times is just unbelievable and takes away the realism of the situation and this movie due to the decent production values does look way too glossy and over the top at times trying a bit too much to stylish which takes away the true fear and horror. But the gore and deaths look realistic and cool, which is always a plus side in my books. 

Ps: I watched all the Wrong Turn series and I have to say that The 'Wrong Turn' franchise has basically been sliding down hill since the first one. The last installment, Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort is so utterly awful I question how it was even released. It is occupied with only sexual scenes. I actually spent most my time being unable to watch the movie because of the quantity of pointless gore that it contains. The combination of sex, pointless gore and handicapped people are extremely weird or disturbing too. I recommend you not to watch the fifth and sixth installment if you're not a big fan of the series.

Monday, July 27, 2015

My Bloody Valentine 1981

Horror Fanatic Challenge #18 - Favourite 80's horror.

The 1980's was one of the best decades for horror. 80's horror is so damn groovy, you may develop a lifelong addiction to its horrific charm. My Bloody Valentine is definitely in the top 10 list of 1980's slasher films. It uses location, atmosphere and gore in all the right ways making this one a Canadian classic. The location shots underneath in the mine are perfect because of how dark and narrow it is down there. Some of the chase scenes are creepy because of how hard it is to move around down there. The killer wears full mining gear (including a mask) and he carries around a huge pick axe. There is also a ton of gore in this one, and even more gore in the version not shown in theaters.

The acting was actually pretty well done for an eighties slasher flick. The lead characters all did their jobs, and supporting cast were good as well. The suspect list pretty much includes Harry Warden or the two lead male character's (Axel and TJ) who are vying for the love of Sarah. It keeps you guessing right until the shocking conclusion. Definitely check this film out if you are a fan of 80's horror. It is one of the best made in that great era of scary slashers. Watch it on Valentine's Day haha.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Psycho 1960

Horror Fanatic Challenge #17 - Favourite Black&White Horror Movie.

First of all, I watched only 4-5 black and white horror movies only. Okay maybe less than that. I don't mind watching black and white horror movies, but so far the horror movies I watched aren't scary, with bad acting and nonsense stories. I remember watching Night of the Living Dead, and the whole thing was just so awful and convoluted that I just could not give a crap about anything that was going on. So yeah, I'm not opposed to black and white movies just on the principle that they're black and white, but there are no black and white movies that I've ever found myself enjoying.

Except this movie, Psycho. I watched the remake first, followed by Psycho 2, then Psycho 3 and finally the original concept of Psycho.I was first introduced to the remake when I saw parts of it on TV, I was about 13 when the shower scene came on, I closed my eyes, and stayed there, hugging my father. But what actually scared me, wasn't the fact that the killer murders someone in the bath, but the music. The screaming violin tune is one of the, if not, the most famous tune ever, which was copied to other films such as "Carrie" and "The Amityville Horror". Then, I decided to watch the original classic movie. I normally watch the original after watching derivative horror films. Don't just go around giving credits to movie remakes without mentioning the original piece. Hey without the original, there's no remake, right?

Okay so, this is the only stunning black and white movies my eyes have ever gazed upon. What can I say? Simply one of the most genuinely black and white scary films ever made and perhaps Hitchock's masterpiece. Not to forget, the famous shower scene haha. Norman Bates should have been named the greatest villain of all time. And Bernard Hermann's music? Please. That man was brilliant.

A final note, AVOID the remake. Nothing is on par with the original movie and the director added a couple of unnecessary and gratuitous touches (in the motel scene, Sam is completely nude, the "peeping" scene, Norman masturbates as he secretly watches Marion get undressed before taking her fateful shower - did we need to see THAT to understand that Marion had become the object of his repressed desire? I don't think so). The original, however, is a MUST SEE, whether you are a horror aficionado or not. 

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Ex's mother.

Get to the stage where I think I'm coming through all the torment and heartache, through the worst of it. Then his mother, who I totally adore will not leave me alone lol. She's a lovely woman and she's very kind towards me. She has an amazing outlook on life that I really want to learn from her because she's so positive.

She knows how much I loved his son and would do anything but my ex really messed me around. Treated me weirdly and I still put up with it until I found out he's cheating on me.

And I'm torn whether or not I should reply her messages, keep in contact with her because I just really admire her as a mentor, as a woman I can look up to. It has nothing to do with my ex and it saddens me that she is his mother since I know she has no obligations to keep in contact with me anymore since her son and I broke up.

I don't want her to think that I'm ignoring her. But I don't want to give the impression that I'm keeping in contact with her because of him. I really have no other intentions. I haven't talked to my ex in months and I plan on never speaking to him again. I know for a fact that we will not get back together. I have already moved on.

Well I guess, sometimes you end up having a great friendship with people's parents, just because a relationship ends, doesn't mean you can't still keep it friendly with their family ay (as long as it's not obsessive).

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

It Follows ( 2014 )

Horror Fanatic Challenge #16 - Horror Film With Great Soundtrack

It Follows 

I'm struggling to think of a horror that tops this. I am constantly looking for horrors that are to my taste but find that the majority of them fall short. Blood, gore and violence is not enough for me or I'd say most horror fans but directors seem to think otherwise. David Robert Mitchell, however, fully understands this in a film that has little to no gore and instead makes perfect use of slowly built tension. The only film that I can think of that comes close to this tension wise is The Shining and, although a completely different style, the scariest was perhaps REC but I think they may have just been surpassed. This isn't a big jumpy horror so those going to this expecting such will be disappointed. However, those looking to engage with a film that draws you in and holds the tension throughout will not be left disappointed.

One of the best aspects of this cinematic experience is the soundtrack by Disasterpiece; the artist known for his work on indie platform game "Fez". The soundtrack to this excellent horror builds tension throughout rarely releasing the listener. The music in collaboration with the creative cinematography makes this film as engrossing as possible. The dizzying spinning shots are some of the most tense and the time between showing the "Follower" in shots leaves the audience tensely waiting to see how close it has gotten. This was the most tense film I think I have ever seen. I loved the use of art-house aspects without ever going over the top and losing the run of itself. Disasterpiece's soundtrack is a masterpiece on its own and is thankfully being released, not that it could be listened to whilst relaxing. Disasterpiece did a fine job and I look forward to hearing more of his music like this if he decides to release more. After this, who knows, maybe he will become a highly sought after film score composer. I sure hope so anyway.

The film owes a lot to horror films of the 70s and 80s but it far surpasses them. The synth soundtrack is a modern take on soundtracks of the 80s and John Carpenter style motifs. The tension built takes influence from The Shining. In saying this, It Follows is one of the most original horrors I have ever seen. It takes in so many influences and makes them its own.

For nineteen-year-old Jay, Autumn should be about school, boys and week-ends out at the lake. But after a seemingly innocent sexual encounter, she finds herself plagued by strange visions and the inescapable sense that someone, something, is following her. Faced with this burden, Jay and her friends must find a way to escape the horrors, that seem to be only a few steps behind. - written by Jose Tamayo. 
Ps//Rated R:Restricted – under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.

It Follows soundtrack.


Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Through it all.

What did I do to receive such goodness? Such happiness? Such gentleness? Such peace in the faithfulness of God?

When I couldn't see past my nose, still You took care of me, guided me, protected me. 
All praise to you, Lord.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Feast (2005)

Horror Fanatic Challenge #15 - Favourite Monster Movie.

Feast - Gruesome, gore, trash and funny!

Feast does not have story, but it is gruesome, trash and gore. It's also really funny, and the way the movie plays with character stereotypes had me guessing as to which character was going to get it next. There were moments when I was seriously shocked by the blatant violation of standard horror conventions. It takes real talent to play with cliches so effectively. There are no explanations about the origin of the monsters, but disgusting and nasty special effects in the fast-paced and ridiculous attacks of the creatures that does not give time for thinking how silly the story is. I'm not really into monster movies but this is a good movie to watch.

I watched Feast 2 and Feast 3 as well. Not as good as the first sequel but these 2 movies are actually more gross. There's this baby scene in Feast 2. The guy swings down from the roof on a cable, grabs the kid (which has been sitting in a car for a day and nobody noticed, not even the monsters), runs off and slips past the monsters WAY too easily, then somehow swings back onto the roof from the ground, and nobody helps him up as he slips off. Then he tosses the baby away as he runs, even though that's the whole reason he went down. HAHA. Funny. 

I wanted to write a review about The Mist, but then I bet most of you have already seen this. Plus, it is less gory. Same goes to most of the well-known monster movies like Predator, The Mummy, Godzilla, Jeepers Creepers, Silent Hill, etc. So I chose Feast instead as not many people know about this movie. Highly recommended for horror comedy fans and fans of the cast members. Not recommended for those who have difficulties with extremely disgusting gore. 


Monday, May 11, 2015

Kolej Matrikulasi Pulau Pinang (KMPP) Semester 2.

Memori terakhir dengan Farah. She wants to continue her studies at The University of Nottingham.
Jadi, bye bye KMPP.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Saturday, April 11, 2015

What I want to be remembered for.



She had no fear to live,

She had no shame to love.

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Galatians 2:20

Monday, March 16, 2015


When you've reached a point where you're drained of all resources. When you're tired of yourself. When you don't know what else you can do in your capabilities.

That's when you realize the finite-nessof you. That you just can't do anything more. That you can't control everything.

Then you have nothing else to do but trust Him.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Have you ever

stared down a high floor or at a kitchen knife and think,
'I am almost tempted'.

Saturday, January 24, 2015


for good or harm none can tell,
for even the very wise cannot see all ends.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Thursday, January 22, 2015

The point is

The deeper I look, the more I find the parallels,
the lines that complete sentences of chapters dedicated to a story .
A sad story.
Cute Spinning Flower Black