Saturday, March 26, 2011

Cockroaches are EVIL!


Is there any way to make cockroaches extinct? Is it possible to make cockroaches go extinct?! Why cant we make cockroaches go extinct?!! Ergh!

I'm not talking about those little so-called German roaches that like to infest apartment dwellings, although they're disgusting little buggers in their own right. I'm talking about cockroaches. Palmetto bugs. Those big, fat, dark brown bugs that lurk in the bathroom, waiting for the perfect opportunity to fly on your thighs/leg...

Yes, unfortunately I speak from personal experience. Few things are more frightening than a flying cockroach, especially when it decides to practice landing on any part of your body.

That's why I kill them dead. That is, if I'm fast enough and am able to overcome my instinct to flee...

FYI, Cockroaches Like Clean Homes Too. It's a common misconception that roaches only lurk in filthy places. If you keep your house clean, you should have no problem at all--right? Wrong!

See, even though roaches can supposedly live for a month without food, they need a drink every now and then. They can't go more than a few days without some water. During the hot summer months, they are going to go where the water is... your house! And where can we find the most moisture in your home? That's right: The kitchen and the bathroom.

Roaches Are Hard to Kill. As disgusting as they are, I have a grudging respect for their abilities. They have super-fast reflexes. They can beat a hasty retreat when we threaten them with shoes, rolled-up newspapers, and other menacing household weapons. Even if you manage to hit one, there's a good chance it'll recover.

I've even heard that roaches can survive for days without their heads! If they didn't need to eat or drink, they'd live quite happily in a decapitated state. Well, maybe not happily, but you know what I mean.

Whether you believe roaches evolved to perfection or that God gave them Houdini-like gifts for some perverse reason, you can't deny that roaches are pretty darn good at surviving.

Fascinating Roach Facts

Roaches have white blood. Though you wouldn't guess it, what with the mess they leave behind when you squish them.

Pregnant for life. Yup, some female roaches only have to mate once in order to keep popping out a bunch of baby roaches for the rest of their lives.

They can hold their breath for 40 minutes. Sorry, Guybrush, being able to hold your breath for ten minutes is impressive, but roaches have you beat.

White roaches are not albinos. If you see a white roach, it simply means it just shed its old exoskeleton.

A roach can run about 2 miles an hour. Proportionately speaking, that's wicked fast.

Roaches are lazy. They spend about 75 percent of their time resting up for those "Let's scare the humans!" marathons.

•Eat too much pizza? Cotton candy? Thanksgiving dinner? Some people eat cockroaches fried in oil and garlic as a cure for indigestion. Seriously yuck.

I hope that one day you little disgusting creatures will extinct. If no, stay the hell away from me or something bad will happen.. to you! :P

Cute Spinning Flower Black