Monday, May 29, 2017

Writing blogs.


 It is a challenge.  Who am I writing for?  Sometimes it is for myself.  It helps me solidify my ideas, think them through. I haven't solidified my ideas here recently. Maybe it's because they have become less of a priority and are still in flux. I can't show you how many unpublished posts I have.  I do not think it's important that others know what changes have occurred. 

Sometimes I think I am writing for other people.  This one is a challenge because I don't know who reads these ramblings of mine.  But I try it anyway, or I don't.  I let it slide.  Is it an exercise in futility? Who knows.

I received an email a few weeks ago asking me to return to writing my anonymous posts for their website.  I finally wrote another brief article for them. I write anonymously there because the topic is painful and close to me and those I love and know.  Others have found them helpful, so I write.

Does this sound like a diary entry?  Maybe it is.  Maybe that is all I have today.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Highlight to read.


I never knew love could hurt so much. Every breath hurts. I wish I could pretend it doesn't hurt.

Every night I cry myself to sleep. The mornings are the hardest when I have to wake up for reality. 

How can I forget him?
How can I forget his kiss? His warm embrace?
How can I forget how close we used to be?
How can I forget his laugh? His sense of humour?
How can I forget he said he would never leave me? That we were meant for each other?

I will never forget the days we once had.

Ps: I disabled the text selection highlighting. 
凸( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   

Draft: February 2016

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Take note.


I have my own reasons for doing/saying things. 
Don't judge my choices when you don't even know the reasons. 

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Frail soul.


Over the past year, with the help of many people here, I thought I grew stronger from the emotional hell I put myself in.

I did some sharing and cried my heart out, got some kick ass advice, and I thought it managed to build me into a stronger person for myself.

I thought that I was able to get through the fact that I lost someone that I loved dearly, that I was able to get past the heartache.

And after getting kicked in the ass a few times by certain individuals. I thought I'd managed to rebuild my self esteem and live like I was supposed to live.

But this morning I realise I was wrong, completely dead wrong.

I'm still as weak and helpless as I was a year and a half ago.

:(

Draft: January 2016

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Today's The Day.


My life is changing every second
I like who I've become.
The hardships and hell
have gone over well
and now I see the sun.
tomorrow's an hour.
A minute.
A second away.
And nothing holds a light to
the beauty of today.
Today's the day.
I'm my own woman
with no one else around.
I now hold my head high
and look at the birds
no longer at the ground.
My heart isn't healed
but it's on it's way
and with happiness
and joy I can say
that finally, 
FINALLY
today's the day.

Poem by Apple.
Cute Spinning Flower Black